And then she told herself, “Stop being so weak. Grow up and get over it.” and then she never felt anything again.
I want to be that adorable old lady who still goes camping in a tent.
Time for some real talk.
I’ve had to turn anon messaging off for a while.
I would like to sincerely apologize to the 99% of you who use it to send me nothing but sweet things, genuine questions, or honest concerns. I left anon messages on for so long because I know there are a TON of you who really like to ask your questions anonymously especially about thing like scores or personal problems.
And I love giving you guys this chance.
Over the last couple of days a very tiny subset of the people who follow this blog have taken it upon themselves to send me a couple of really nasty messages. Here’s today’s set.
I’ve gotten 1-2 nasty messages every month since I started this blog. It’s just how the internet works. People have too much time and decide that they’ll send hate into the universe instead of just focusing on making themselves better people. I usually just delete them.
But they’ve picked up.
Most of them center around one thing: YES, I am an adult. I date. I have decided NOT to talk about it on this blog because of things like this.
Because it’s none of your business. It’s my personal life and I’m keeping it personal.
Unfortunately, this is a reality of being a visible woman on the internet. And that—that is 100% bullshit that we still live in a world like this.
Because the world shouldn’t still be like this.
For those of you who don’t understand how this works: people can be successful, career driven women and still happy in their lives. In fact, real, adult, mature partners are not threatened by women who are smart and successful.
Clearly, those of you who decided to send messages like this are not mature adults. And I feel sorry for you.
Let’s face it, if you’re one of the people who’s taken it upon yourself to send me one of these messages I have one thing to say to you:
SHAME ON YOU.
SHAME ON YOU.
I’m honestly sorry that you have nothing better to do with your time than send hateful messages out into the universe.
I’ve always tried to be very open on this blog about what my real life is like, to support people who needed it, and to encourage people who wanted a chance to go to medical school.
I believe I’ve done just that with almost everything I’ve ever posted here (I’m sure there have been errors and I apologize for those).
But if you have absolutely nothingbetter to do with your time than send out this kind of hate, well get a hobby.
For the record: I’m very happy with where I am with my life. I will continue to not share my personal dating information here because who I chose to date, or see, or love is my business and theirs.
It’s something I really would have liked to get to share with you all because I know there are a lot of people who have concerns about how relationships and dating work in medical school.
Again, I’m very very very sorry I’ve had to do this to the well over 99% of you who have been using anon messaging for nothing but nice messages and honest questions. I will continue to blog here—hopefully for years and years to come and get the chance to connect with many of you. Messaging through your blog or through fan mail will ALWAYS remain open and if you want a question answered anonymously just write “answer privately” somewhere in the message and I won’t post it on the main blog.
I fully intend to turn anon messaging back on in the future—but for me personally, I need a couple days away from this. I’m sorry.
And the entirety of her awesome response.
If you get nothing else from my response, get this: EATING DISORDERS ARE NOT DEFINED BY A NUMBER ON THE SCALE. Eating disorders are defined by your relationship with food. If you starve yourself and refuse to eat, you probably have an eating disorder. If you binge, you have probably have an altered relationship with food. If you purge by vomiting or laxatives or excessive exercise, you may have an eating disorder.
People with eating disorders often feel out of control and seek to find control by managing what they eat. Some may severely restrict calories and have an intense fear of weight gain. Others may feel as if they have lost control when they overeat to the extreme, and thus seek to “correct” the out of control behavior by purging.
You can 100% be within a normal weight range and still have disordered eating. Sure, many people with eating disorders do experience extreme weight loss, but not all do. Many people with bulemia are of “normal” weight or are overweight.
People with eating disorders often deny that they have a problem. They may refuse to eat around other people for fear of judgement. Often they will make frequent, inappropriate comments about their own weight, and they may even withdraw from their friends.
Greyface, if your friends are concerned about you, ask them why. They may be overly concerned, sure, but they may actually be on to something too. Please trust the people who love you and at the very least get checked out by a doctor.
There are no classes in life for beginners: right away you are always asked to deal with what is most difficult.